Tag Archives: FIFA 2010

Quit Playing Games with my Heart!!

7 May

They say that the quickest way to fix heartbreak is to take control of your emotions and not feel powerless. You are supposed to take the initiative and banish the heartbreaker from heart and mind – I’ve recently had to do this with a whole team of them. They are also known as the Pakistan cricket team.

Last year they made me feel wildly overjoyed when they won the 20-20 world cup. I jumped up and down, I cried for joy when I saw scenes of celebration on the streets.  I felt like my heart was bursting with love and pride.When we were champions Last year I managed to get invited to the Prime Minister’s special reception for the cricket team after the 20-20 victory. I almost died of joy! I suffered 3 hours of nauseating Tauseeq Haider in a white suit and an electric blue scarf make long speeches and annoying jokes. I just sat there and smiled like a moron. I think I might have even swooned at the sight of Shahid Afridi’s pantene pro-v quality hair sitting in front of me. I even stalked him and sheepishly, like a fool asked to have a picture taken with him. (Well…that was not all me … the sethi sisters were also involved in the escapade….some might say they were at the forefront ….anyway it was there mother who got me into the reception as her most recently adopted child)

 This year I’m not feeling that. This year my heart is being ripped into shreds by their callous behaviour on the field! They are behaving like truly barbaric Pakistani men. They dont care where the ball goes. Even when it comes flying into their arms they drop it! And when they hit the ball they hit it right into the arms of waiting fielders. Last year they were merely chewing on the ball, this year its like they are chewing at my heart with their pathetic play. I cant take it anymore. I want out! I want them to quit playing games with my heart.

And as if this wasnt bad enough, none of them are attractive.Youhanna and Beard So even when I hate them for their lack of  sporting skills, I cant love them for their good looks. They seem to have the collective persoanlity of a fat, curry soaked potato swimming in a vat of very oily Aloo Gosht. And I say this not because they cant speak english but because they cant seem to speak in any language at all except that of religious indoctrination. The only thing they seem to be good at doing is coercing others into accepting their religious views. (have you seen youhana’s beard?? ummm… I guess he isnt even youhanna now!) So why dont they quit cricket (and playing games with my heart) and go into the wild and preach. They might even be successful at it!

And since there is now a vacancy in the sporting section of my heart, I have decided to give that place to football! Yes football – the kind you play with a ball and foot – not the kind that you play with the strangely misshapen object clenched under an armpit. The worldcup 2010 is coming up. I’m excited. Its going to be competitive and colorful and fun and I’m not going to care as much about any of the teams so my emotions wont get overly involved but my competitve couch potato sentiments will be satisfied by participating (passively from my couch ofcourse) in a competitve sport! I like competition! And I love the recent Fifa songs! They just make me want to get up and dance! This is a much better feeling than the teetch clenching angony I feel when I see the Pakistan cricket team perform (0r actually fail to perform.)

K’naans wave your flag makes me want to wave my flag – to bad it cant be the Pakistani one – since we dont play football and all the other sports we do play we suck at right now!

And then the Shakira song is also pretty spectacular!

So its official. I love football. I hate cricket. But I just wish they would quit playing games with my heart and learn to play them with the bat and ball instead! And then maybe we could also be wavin’ our flag and maybe in a while it will be time for Pakistan!

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